The Pasta Eating Champion

After three years of training—including 812 to-go orders from Mirko Pasta—Tony finally felt prepared for the Pasta Eating World Championship.

As the big day approached, Tony wanted to look his best for all the cameras and cheering fans at the event. So thanks to the friendly laser hair removal professionals in his neighborhood, Tony’s unibrow was uni-gone. And after a brief session of sunless spray tanning that gave his bulging cheekbones a warm glow, he felt ready to eat more pasta than humanly possible.

On the day of the Pasta Eating Championships, the stands were packed. Seventeen people watched the eight competitors tear through bowls of fettuccine, linguine, and penne like rabid animals. After an hour of carb-overload, Tony finally claimed the victory. It was like a scene from a Disney storybook, with princesses and talking ducks replaced by large men and a vague scent of tomato sauce. Two people stormed the stage. Tony’s mother was so proud. So proud.

On the way home, Tony stopped by Quiznos for two regular subs, just a light turkey sandwich to sooth his aching stomach. The next morning, on the way to his daughter’s gymnastics class, he treated himself to a nice little colon hydrotherapy session. As you can imagine, it was much needed.

Will Tony defend his pasta crown next year? Only time will tell.

And THAT's the Real Dealio

By Robert (http://onehundredonebooks.wordpress.com/)