We’re smack dab in the middle of Christmas party season, and many of you are probably dreading your annual lame office Christmas party. Nothing gets you more in the holiday spirit like bedazzled sweaters, small talk about the Duggar miscarriage, and bland food transported from the Virginia Tech campus cafeteria. But you just can’t bring yourself to leave with the awkwardness level reaches unknown levels.
However, you should consider the possibility of leaving the party early if, upon arrival, David Stern insists you wear a custom-made $29 sterling silver monogram name necklace like you would a lei in Hawaii. “It’s a special, individualized gift from the company this year. We hope it brightens your holiday season like the star that guided the three wise men to Jesus,” he reports with the enthusiasm of Debbie Downer.
Upon walking into the local Chinese restaurant, you strain to recognize any of your coworkers. Instead of seeing Cindy, Mary, Bob, and Tom, you keep bumping into Dan Gilbert, Tyson Chandler, Chris Paul, Ben Roethlisberger, and Dwight Howard as you make your way to Table 4. It may already be insanely awkward, but don’t leave the party just yet. Just get so engrossed in the discounted activity books, projects and games from Klutz and Chuggington wooden railway trainee roundhouse set from Learning Curve there to keep you occupied at Table 4 to avoid the rest of the awkwardness that surrounds you. The evening can only get better from here, right?
“I want to welcome you all to this glorious occasion as we celebrate all we have done and not done this year!” your boss declares over the crackling loud speaker. “You’ve probably noticed all of the famous guests we have here tonight. I figured spending the money to get them to hang out with us was better than any gift I could give you this year. But hey, I still love you all, so I got each of you a discounted Metrokane electric Houdini corkscrew in black, red or silver!”
Blank stares.
(Remember that two-hour photography class you wish you had bought? This would be the perfect moment to capture!)
Ok, now would be a fabulous time to leave the party, dragging your Tumi travel luggage filled with all of your office desk belongings behind you. Enough is enough. Make a scene. Be dramatic. Lead the way.
“Wait! You’re my fifth best employee! Will 50% off at Middle Tennessee Paintball and Magazines.com bring you back? Please! It’s all I can afford right now!” will be the last words you hear from your now-former boss as you walk out the doors to freedom and on to a Lakers game.
Hopefully you won’t have to experience anything like this. But just in case you suddenly find yourself in any of these beyond-awkward situations, it’s about time you find a new job!
And that’s The Real Dealio!
By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)
Deals:
- $14 for $30 worth of activity books, projects and games from Klutz
- $29 for Sterling Silver Monogram Name Necklace
- 50% Off @ Middle Tennessee Paintball
- Magazines.com
- One ($59) or Two ($99) 2-Hour Photography Classes
- $22 for a Metrokane Electric Houdini Corkscrew in Black, Red, or Silver ($39.99 Value)
- Tumi Travel Luggage from Groupon Goods Inc. (Up to 41% Off). Three Options Available. Shipping Included.
- $69 for a Chuggington Wooden Railway Trainee Roundhouse Set from Learning Curve. Shipping Included ($130.99 Value)
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