Monday, November 14, 2011

What happens in Vegas ...

"21! Player wins!"

The rush of winning the help of a professional moving service for the weekend was just enough to keep me going at this alternative Las Vegas casino. I knew I could be home in bed, flipping between the latest news on Kris Humphries and Albert Pujols, but I couldn't quit now. I knew that if I was going to win tickets to the Nashville Symphony, I needed to bring it home here.

Suddenly ... she sat down. "Mind if I join in?"

Her hair was like fine-spun gold and the eyes were a deep blue. She looked like the perfect model to pitch for a beer commercial. Someone who could put Kardashian to shame. I was more entranced than that time I bought the 3 weight-loss hypnosis classes.

"Uh ... sure," I managed to get out. "Make yourself comfortable."

She flipped a black chip toward the betting circle and a white smile toward me. If she were at the Breaking Dawn premiere, she'd grab all the attention from the stars of the movie. I needed to show her I was the man.

I put three black chips in and the cards came out. Ten. Three. A hard 13 - I felt the heat rising on me, so I took a swig of my Tasti D-Lite and tried to appear cooler than the weather during an outdoor Christmas tree sale.

Do I hit? Do I stand? My eyes shot back and forth between the dealer and the dame. My situation looked as fragile as the freshly made products from a blown glass ornament workshop. I decided to hit.

"Mmmmm," I heard her mumble, impressed at my gusto. "Being aggressive with your $300 - you could buy a professionally customized website for that."

"Huh - please!" I shot back. "I've got bigger and badder things in mind, baby. You could be a part of it. Stick with me and I'll have your picture up on 40, 75 or 120 personalized holiday photo cards before you can say Gloria Cain."

The dealer flipped me a jack. 23. Despite all the honey's curves, her stare at me was flat. I had to recover.

"Uh, how about a horseback riding package for two tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"Sorry, sweetie - why would I want one horse when there are a few hundred of them waiting for me under the hood at the automobile museum?"

And with that, she left. Maybe Lady Luck would visit me again some day.


That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

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