Some families put the “dis” and others put the “fun” in “dysfunctional.” Nothing magnifies this more than the holidays. First up: Thanksgiving.
Let’s just say that we can all relate to each other when it comes to spending extended time with our families. We love ‘em, but sometimes we just need to get away and mentally prepare to return sometimes. This is especially true when you have a dance-off scheduled with J.R. Martinez, your long-lost cousin who was just crowned the latest Dancing with the Stars winner. (I’m glad I’m not you.)
You need to have options. You need to have a game plan. You need to invest in a Garmin 1300 LM GPS with free lifetime maps from Beach Camera to know where you’re going if you must leave at a moment’s notice before you scream.
Come prepared with toys for the rambunctious kids. Kids love toys, and you love peace and quiet, so it’s a win-win. While they’re playing with some Melissa and Doug wooden toys, surprise the girls by telling them that Megyn Kelly’s taking them to a spa party for up to 10 girls. Immediately, the house will become much quieter once they pull out of the driveway like Kurt Busch!
Don’t worry about the boys. They’ll be occupied reading their one-year subscription to Boys' Life (65% off cover price) and then fighting over who will be Kyle Orton and Urban Meyer in their annual Turkey Bowl family football game. There’s a guarantee that some turkey in that game who doesn’t have health insurance will get hurt. It’s just a fact of life. So come prepared with $44 for new-patient office visit at GracePointe Healthcare or you’re going to be crammed with your family into one of those small ER and hospital waiting rooms eating vending machine food for Turkey Day. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
And be prepared for the worst possible scenario that has a 76.8% chance of happening: your mom burns the turkey. You can be the child standing right by her side to save the day. Just discretely point to the stainless steel, auto-open trash can with A/C adapter and throw that turkey away before anyone knows what happened. She’s going to be a basket case, so have that 12-piece pro makeup brush set and case in your back pocket so that she can cover up her tears and puffy face before the rest of the family sees. You know they’re all just looking for a humiliating way to put their 2-hour photography lessons to good use.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve!
And that’s The Real Dealio!
By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)
Today’s Deals:
This was one of my favorites! And we're buying the subscription to the boy's life mag. Thanks for writing!
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