I suddenly awoke and sat straight up in bed. It was 3:17 a.m., and I hadn’t seen this time of day since I last saved up to 54% off plantation tour and wine tasting the last time I visited Nashville.
I knew who I had to become to lead the Occupy Wall Street movement – Billy Crystal, the man with the best handshake in the country!
“The OWSers want to believe in someone with a firm handshake! The handshake has been in my hand the entire time!” I yelled like I was still watching the Raiders and Chargers game.
I frantically stumbled over to the cherry wood desk in my hotel room and scribbled down all the things that would need to happen before I became this funny man. Of course I would need to get an AcuFacial or AcuFacelift and one month of unlimited CrossFit classes. But I didn’t have one month to prepare! My flight back to NYC was booked for11:45 a.m. that day, with a quick pit stop at Penn State to talk with Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson (another undercover assignment – don’t ask)! Maybe I could just include the rest of the month’s membership with $15 toward a care package or other efforts for US troops and American flag for purchasers. Yeah, that’s what Billy Crystal would do for Veterans Day, so that’s what I’ll do! I thought.
This sudden adrenaline rush was making me hungry for some sushi. And I definitely needed a drink. Holy cow, I needed a drink. Thankfully I still had some leftovers from last night’s meal at Shogun Japanese Grill in Cool Springs in the mini-fridge. I wonder if Billy Crystal likes sushi and drinks, I thought. I bet Helen Mirren does. I wonder if they’ve ever met. I’m sure they’d have a hilarious conversation…
Snap out of it! Ok, back to business. Focus! Once I arrived in NYC, I would need 50% off superior mobile detailing - wash, wax and upholstery shampoo – to make my ride look like it had just plowed through the bags of poo the OWSers had collected over the past few weeks. That’s right – a reverse mobile detailing job. The OWSers wouldn’t believe in me if I arrived in a squeaky clean Cadillac and passed out coupons for 68% off one-hour photo shoot and three prints with Rick Perry!
I had to become one of them.
I had to become Billy Crystal. I had to shake their hands.
Now that is something we can all believe in!
And THAT's the Real Dealio!
By Marianna (peachy perspective)
Deals List:
And THAT's the Real Dealio!
By Marianna (peachy perspective)
Deals List:
- Up to 54% Off Plantation Tour and Wine Tasting
- 50% Off Superior Mobile Detail - Wash, Wax & Upholstery Shampoo (3 options)
- AcuFacial (Pay $60) or AcuFacelift (Pay $99)
- $12.50 for $25 Worth of Sushi & Drinks at Shogun Japanese Grill in Cool Springs
- 68% Off One-Hour Photo Shoot and Three Prints
- $15 Toward a Care Package or Other Efforts for US Troops and American Flag for Purchasers
- One Month of Unlimited CrossFit Classes $49.00 ($190.00 Value)
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