The Real Dealio

The Eight Days of Christmas

2011-12-22T08:24:00.000-08:00

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, $20 for $40 of Car Washes, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 50% off at Barnes & Noble, $20 for $40 of Car Washes, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 50% off four private dog training sessions, 50% off at Barnes & Noble, $20 for $40 of Car Washes, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me, $99 for a TomTom GPS, 50% off four private dog training sessions, 50% off at Barnes & Noble, $20 for $40 of Car Washes, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Magazine.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, $2 for five $1 vouchers at the Blockbuster Movie Rental Stand, $99 for a TomTom GPS, 50% off four private dog training sessions, 50% off at Barnes & Noble, $20 for $40 of Car Washes, a 2-hour Photography Crash Course, $40 for $100 in Hair and Waxing Services and a $10 subscription to O: The Oprah Mag...a...zine.

The Adventures of Santa Steve

2011-12-21T08:21:00.000-08:00

Steve was ready.

He had been through Santa training every year for the past 20 years. He was determined to be the most amazing mall Santa in the USA. He loved talking with 96.35% of the kids who came to visit him year after year. He always knew how to respond to each kid, even when they asked for mega millions or latkes for Chanukah. He was Santa.

But when a mom and her child – a hobbit version of David Archuleta screaming, “Maggie Moo’s ice cream!” like a broken record player – were the first ones to approach him this year, he knew this was going to be one long season of being Santa.

“Santa, hey. I’m running late getting my Christmas cards sent,” the mom said. “I just bought a great deal on a one-hour photo shoot and 10 digital images and I need to use it ASAP for these cards or Granny’s going to M.A.D. Can we get started?” she said and she plopped her screaming son on Santa Steve’s lap.

“Uhhhh…” Steve wondered where his back-ups had gone. Oh, that’s right, I told them to go get their Barnes & Noble and Restaurant.com gift cards before they sold out and while no one was in line here. Why did I do that?!

Ten minutes later, Hobbit David gave up demanding Maggie Moo’s and decided it was about time he told Santa what he wanted for Christmas. And Steve was ready … kind of.

“Santa, my favorite restaurant in the whole entire world is Phillyman’s Cheesesteak. You can probably tell because I have a lot in my belly right now,” David pointed to his chubby 7-year-old belly. “Will you give me the restaurant?”

“Uhhh…no. I already promised to give it to Debra Messing. But how about $6 for $12 worth of cheesesteaks and more? … Ho ho ho!” Santa Steve responded.

“Nooooo! Fine then. If you were the real Santa, you would get me my own beer-making starter kit and ingredients. Pleeeeease? I want that more than cheesesteaks.”

Is this really happening? Steve wondered. He admitted to himself that he’d rather be talking with Snooki right now than a 7-year-old asking for booze.

“Awww, you’re too cute. Sorry, kid, but ole Santy can’t give alcohol to under-age kids for Christmas! That is no way to celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, is it? Sounds like you just need some music therapy with private music lessons. How would you like that instead?”

Nothing but a blank stare from Hobbit David that lasted for a full five minutes. A long five minutes.

Santa Steve tried to convince himself this episode would not destroy his chances at being the best Santa in all the land this year. He just blamed the increasing ridiculousness of the kids (and parents) on the winter solstice.

So if you take your kids to visit Santa this week, take a good look at Santa. If his eyes are droopy and he’s a little loopy, just give him some grace. It’s been a long year for the ole guy.

And that’s The Real Dealio!

By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)

Deals:

The Roethlisberger Revelation

2011-12-20T07:14:00.000-08:00

"Help, doc!" cried Ben Roethlisberger as he nursed his bumps and bruises.

The Pittsburgh Steelers had just taken a pounding by the San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football and Big Ben was one of several Steeler players who needed a break that didn't involve their own bones. He was disappointed that those fitness classes and that massage he had taken didn't seem to be working as far as preventing injury went.

But a certain Mr. Greene had heard all the complaining before. He was old-school football, from an age where a visit to the doctor's office was about as common as seeing the head coach watching a Blu-Ray DVD movie on the sideline during the Super Bowl.

He strolled over to Roethlisberger and demanded "Hey, Big Sissy Ben! You keep complaining and I'm gonna book you a bridal shower at Mama Java's cafe, complete with a big old floral arrangement!"

Ben was stunned into silence, being called out in front of the team. Greene wished he could have gotten a photo canvas of Roethlisberger's face at that point. He kept going.

"I hope this little talk between us gets you doin' more cartwheels than a gymnastics class, buddy!"

"You're right, Mr. Greene," Ben said. "It's just that ever since I read that hoax about Jon Bon Jovi being dead, my confidence has been shattered. But I'm better now. Thanks, though ... now I gotta get to practice."

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That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals:

Christmas Slam

2011-12-19T05:54:00.000-08:00

"Christmas slam!" My oldest son yelled. The boys both laughed until they saw my expression. Then they took off out the front door. I stared at the Christmas tree as if it were Kim Jong Il attacking Santa in North Korea, or like I stared at the tattoo around my arm that was supposed to be barbed-wire, but looks more like a string of fat, round Christmas lights. How could it do this to me? I spend $100 on a "Douglas Fir." I water it. Talk to it. The family carefully placed our memories on each branch with Amy Grant urging us on in the background. I spend hours detangling the stupid lights, breaking a few bulbs in the process. And it falls over. The Monday before Christmas.

It crushed my new universal remote, and soaked the Android Tablet in the thin green box. Not to mention that it scratched my left cornea on the way down, which I'm sure will leave me with a nice New Year's eye care bill. I got out one of my Swiss Army knives to open the box with the blue angel paper to see if it destroyed my wife's hand-held exfoliator... the only thing she asked for this year. Thankfully, a survivor! The workout DVDs with resistance band were fine. The paper just needed some more tape and a little patchwork.

When she gets back from her haircut and partial highlight, I've got some explaining to do. I could tell her it fell on its own, but that doesn't happen. We don't play football in the house. That's rule #1. We weren't. We were playing basketball in the house. I leap over the ottoman like Baron Davis and make the catch, only to be fouled by the tree. It really wasn't my fault. It was a bad pass. I could blame my son. But, then, who said it was okay to play a little hoops in the den?

It stinks, but that's the Real Dealio!

By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)

Deals:

Vacay Time With The Aliens

2011-12-12T08:34:00.000-08:00

Oh, no! What is the deal with this blog and aliens?!

Aliens have taken the beloved Real Dealio staff away on a “vacation”! Not sure exactly what that means, but they did say that Disney World may or may not be involved. The abductors have promised they will return the faithful writers a week from today because they believe in this blog and will not be the cause of its death.

A note was left before the departure:

We love you, faithful and new readers. We apologize for this inconvenience in our disappearance right before Christmas. We know you want your Nashville-area daily deals first thing in the morning, and we apologize profusely for letting you down during this joyous season. Please bookmark this blog so you can be one of the first to welcome us back from our brief break and get your humor and deals in one stop.

If Your Office Christmas Party is Like This, Leave

2011-12-09T07:06:00.000-08:00

We’re smack dab in the middle of Christmas party season, and many of you are probably dreading your annual lame office Christmas party. Nothing gets you more in the holiday spirit like bedazzled sweaters, small talk about the Duggar miscarriage, and bland food transported from the Virginia Tech campus cafeteria. But you just can’t bring yourself to leave with the awkwardness level reaches unknown levels.

However, you should consider the possibility of leaving the party early if, upon arrival, David Stern insists you wear a custom-made $29 sterling silver monogram name necklace like you would a lei in Hawaii. “It’s a special, individualized gift from the company this year. We hope it brightens your holiday season like the star that guided the three wise men to Jesus,” he reports with the enthusiasm of Debbie Downer.

Upon walking into the local Chinese restaurant, you strain to recognize any of your coworkers. Instead of seeing Cindy, Mary, Bob, and Tom, you keep bumping into Dan Gilbert, Tyson Chandler, Chris Paul, Ben Roethlisberger, and Dwight Howard as you make your way to Table 4. It may already be insanely awkward, but don’t leave the party just yet. Just get so engrossed in the discounted activity books, projects and games from Klutz and Chuggington wooden railway trainee roundhouse set from Learning Curve there to keep you occupied at Table 4 to avoid the rest of the awkwardness that surrounds you. The evening can only get better from here, right?

“I want to welcome you all to this glorious occasion as we celebrate all we have done and not done this year!” your boss declares over the crackling loud speaker. “You’ve probably noticed all of the famous guests we have here tonight. I figured spending the money to get them to hang out with us was better than any gift I could give you this year. But hey, I still love you all, so I got each of you a discounted Metrokane electric Houdini corkscrew in black, red or silver!”

Blank stares.

(Remember that two-hour photography class you wish you had bought? This would be the perfect moment to capture!)

Ok, now would be a fabulous time to leave the party, dragging your Tumi travel luggage filled with all of your office desk belongings behind you. Enough is enough. Make a scene. Be dramatic. Lead the way.

“Wait! You’re my fifth best employee! Will 50% off at Middle Tennessee Paintball and Magazines.com bring you back? Please! It’s all I can afford right now!” will be the last words you hear from your now-former boss as you walk out the doors to freedom and on to a Lakers game.

Hopefully you won’t have to experience anything like this. But just in case you suddenly find yourself in any of these beyond-awkward situations, it’s about time you find a new job!

And that’s The Real Dealio!

By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)

Deals:

The Night the Car Broke Down in Kentucky

2011-12-08T09:53:00.000-08:00

From the moment the car started to tremble, Lucy knew she was in for a long night. As she slowly brought her car to a stop amidst the roar of the rumble strips, she was glad she had used her Eversave Holiday Pack + a $25 Cabela’s Gift Card to purchase a limited edition Colonel Sherman Potter Army Survival Kit. As she carefully placed her road flares in the pelting rain, Lucy couldn’t have been more thankful she had finally treated herself to that Semi-Permanent Mascara Treatment. At least she’d look good when help arrived. Her teeth were starting to chatter and numbness began to set into her extremities. The only thing worse than the cold was the unshakeable craving she had for Gourmet Popcorn. If only she had taken advantage of the Valet Parking by the Nashville International Airport and hopped a plane instead of making this trip by car. She could have treated herself to a Microderm Treatment and a Facial as she waited for her connection. But alas, as the smoke poured out from under the hood, she knew it was too late to look back now.

Lucy decided to huff it to the next exit to look for help. As she made her way through the deluge, she could just make out the faint glow of headlights in the distance. As the right heel on her new Steve Madden’s gave way, she noticed the oncoming vehicle pulling alongside her. As the passenger side window of the shiny BMW rolled slowly down, she could barely make out a face through the curtain of rain. As she squinted through the darkness, she couldn’t believe her eyes. There sat a haggard Rod Blagojevich taming his 5 o’clock shadow with a Remington R5150 360 ° Pivot & Flex Cordless Titanium Coated Rotary Shaver.

This can’t be happening she thought, as she climbed into the passenger seat and pushed the crumpled Playboy to the floor that had previously occupied her seat. As she contemplated the sad decent of Lindsay Lohan’s career, she decided to ask for a lift.

“Wanna ride? I’m…uh…kind of in a hurry. I’ve got some folks waiting for me back home,” he blustered.

To her surprise, he happened to be heading towards Nashville to procure $100 Worth of Framed Art, Prints, and Posters for $50 to brighten his impending jail cell before heading up north. They chatted like grammar school girls for hours until he dropped her safely at her abode, and continued on his way.

It was definitely a road trip for the record books.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Christina (Twitter: @creckard)

Deals:

Trial of the century!

2011-12-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

It was the biggest scandal since Blagojevich!

The defendant Pujols and his legal team pushed their way past the reporters and cameras and headed into the courtroom. Was it possible, he thought? He was an honest man who had simply gotten a good deal on premium wine and gourmet cupcakes, and now his blood enemy Baldwin was trying to make it look like he stole something.

But he wouldn't let his rival get away with it. From buying Green Bay Packers stock to tampering with the Big East Conference in college football, Baldwin had tried to trump up charges in the past, and nothing ever stuck. That streak wouldn't be broken now.

Court was called to order as the room fell silent. The first witness was called; a legal expert who testified that there were several direct connections between the Pujols deals and the well-known deal offers that had been circulating which promised great bargains on such items as oil changes and wiper replacements, nostalgic candy gift boxes and custom photo canvases. His testimony was convincing, but then the prosecutor Baldwin stood and spoke.

"Your Honor! The defense team is trying to claim that these charges are all speculation and heresay! They simply want this case to disappear so they can get back to their high life of dining at Sunset Grill and buying designer shoes while getting a manicure."

But suddenly, the judge slammed his gavel down and dismissed the case. "I warned you, Baldwin!" he declared. One more outburst and I'd have you hung by that cheap suit on the Christmas tree outside the courthouse like a delightful ornament!

"Boys," he said to the baliffs. "Up with him!"

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That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals:

The Christmas Dream

2011-12-06T06:42:00.001-08:00

I woke up in a cold sweat! (Well, really more of a cool sweat.) Oh man, what a dream! I sat up and rubbed my eyes, trying to remember how it started. It may have been spurred on by our winter dinner at Franklin Mercantile. Or maybe the pizza I ate at midnight. Not sure.

Brett Favre was making angry bird sound effects trying to impress Kim Richards backstage at the Country Music Awards, and Keith Urban jokingly accused him of making a pass at her. Dan Quayle was enjoying his spa services, and apparently was pumped that Herman Cain dropped out of the race. He was telling his beautician Michelle Rounds while getting his glycolic or enzyme facial peel he was getting back into politics. Bob Dole laughed while getting his 1-hour hot stone massage. “Don’t do it potato boy. Politics are for the young and stupid!” Dan grimaced, and quipped, “This coming from a man who just got a haircut and a single-process color, cut and foil. In skinny jeans. Who’s trying to be young?”

In my dream, I glanced up on the wall at the sauna at a custom canvas photo of a group of guys on a golf outing at King’s Creek Golf Club. That’s when I heard Tim McGraw warming up his voice to go on stage and I covered my ears. I woke up with my ears covered to the alarm clock blaring one of his ridiculous love ballads, in a cool sweat.

I hit the snooze bar, glanced over at my Kroger and Restaurant.com gift cards, and climbed back in bed. This time, I want to dream about sugar plum fairies.

And that's the Real Dealio!

By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)
Deals:

The ultimate college bowl experience

2011-12-05T08:22:00.000-08:00

BCS bowl games? Big deal.

Anyone worth his or her salt knows that the true thrill of college football doesn't lie in a last-second 60-yard pass for the winning touchdown under the lights on national TV with your friends and the frenzied crowd cheering wildly.

It's about the prizes you get. And you'll get many when you enter our ultimate college bowl game special sweepstakes. Offer void in Utah and all states not named Utah.

You and none of your friends will be whisked away on a Radio Flyer Classic Red 12-Inch Cruiser Bike (while getting feather hair extensions on the way) to beautiful Sheboygan, Wisconsin for the Eyelash Thickening Bowl presented by Oscar's Taco Shop.

On game day you'll spend the morning rock climbing before a professionally trained ice skater (meaning she took eight ice-skating classes) will personally escort you across the frozen lake to Franklin Mercantile's Winter Dinner Special Stadium for the big game.

And did we forget accommodations? Of course not! You'll be staying at the luxurious Crafty Kids Playhouse, most expenses paid!

You can't beat the experience! Don't wait ... enter for your chance to win the ultimate college bowl experience today!

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That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals:

Dear Diary

2011-12-02T10:08:00.001-08:00

Dear Diary, I'm having a tough time today. What's a 12-year old girl to do? Do I take the 50% Off Mexican Food at Oscar's Taco Shop deal or the $20 for $40 gift card to McDougal's Chicken deal? Oscar's Tacos are amazing, but McDougals chicken is so so yummy. OMG, this is the biggest decision of my life!

I've been thinking about working on my look because there's this guy at school who, well, let's just say I like him a lot. Do I take the Three Rock Climbing Gym Visits deal or $12 One Month Unlimited Tanning deal? OMG, life is so hard!

My parents don't understand me at all. I asked them if I should choose the $50 for $100 worth of Merrell, Frye and Sorel designer shoes deal or the 78% off pearl jewelry at Prized Pearl, and they just told me there are much bigger problems in the world than that! UGH, Mom and Dad are clueless!

Life is so dramatic right now, I just think I'm gonna take the Voucher Booklet for 5 Big Macs deal and go retail therapy shopping with the 45% off DC apparel deal! Why does my life have so much drama?!?!?!

Anyway, thanks for listening diary. You're my only true friend!

And That's the Real Dealio

By Smitty

Deals:

New Ways to Decorate Your Christmas Tree

2011-12-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

Dad threw us a Christmas curve ball this year that no one saw coming. “It’s time to go out on a tree limb this year and do something different for our Christmas tree decorations,” he declared the day after Thanksgiving.

In our family, those are fightin’ words.

Branden, the skiing enthusiast, suggested we hang a hundred Bolle ski goggles with fog treatment on the tree branches and place a custom-embroidered stocking on top.” Doing so will suddenly make the Los Angeles weather much colder. They need to experience true Christmas weather, right?” he tried to convince us. Who cares? We don’t even live in L.A.!

Joel, the trendy East Nashvillian of the fam, wanted to get $10 for two slap watches from Slap Gear ($30 value). “That doesn’t even decorate an entire tree,” we screamed at him.

“Haven’t you ever heard of ‘minimalism’?” he responded. “Plus, there will be two 12-packs of soda with personalized labels from Jones Soda Co. ($59.98 value) under the tree which will add an even cooler vibe.”

“Give me a break! What we really need is a tree with gift certificates to experience a thrilling tandem skydive jump ($270 value) and 50% off at McDonald’s! And if you really love me, you’ll include a $17 college care package, too!” Will, the runt of the bunch, said. Spoken like the true college kid that he is.

After we got done throwing our shoes and boots at Joel and Will that we got 65% off Steve Madden shoes, I looked over at Mom who suddenly had transformed into the Black Dahlia during this family meeting. “Mom, how do you think we should decorate the tree this year?”

“Well, I saw this great idea in my one-year subscription to O: the Oprah magazine. Let’s decorate the tree with little high-quality, brand-name gifts from Overstock.com that tell the world what we really value in this family – Grammy nominations. Then we can get $50 worth of custom photos books from Picaboo for only $20 to remember this special Christmas forever.

“Oh, and before I forget, we definitely need some strollers and kid accessories for 40% off because you guys are acting like a bunch of kids! Mindy McCready and Kourtney Kardashian will experience this one day because they are both pregnant.”

Dad was way too frustrated at this point to continue the Christmas family meeting. “That’s it! We will have a Daniel Day Lewis and Billy Graham tree. Case closed.”

Everyone sat in silent shock. No one dared to question Dad. It will surely be a Christmas tree to remember.

And that’s The Real Dealio!

By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)

Deals:

Deck the Halls - Revised

2011-11-30T09:58:00.000-08:00

Deck the halls with yoga classes
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Get some aprons for your lasses
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Or, get half off of kids clothing
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

These are deals you won't be loathing
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

How 'bout food or some good high tea
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Kitchen stuff or cards: size mini
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Make your gifts so personal
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

Make your makeup mineral
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

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That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals List

How An Inventor Does Christmas

2011-11-29T06:39:00.000-08:00

"And THAT'S my invention!"

There I sat in my patent office, across from a young inventor who was long on energy and short on just about everything else. I debating hazing him a little, but I decided to cut to the chase.

"Are you kidding?" I asked him. "You want to design a helmet with a face screen that has a TV on it so you can skydive while video-conferencing with someone?"

"Welcome," he said with a flourishing wave of his hands "to Skype-diving!"

At that point, you could have plopped a bunch of decadent cake pops in front of me to eat, along with some no-spill food containers to store the leftovers, and a smile still wouldn't have cracked my face. I was more depressed than when Drew Brees and his New Orleans Saints beat my Indianapolis Colts in the Super Bowl.

It had been a long day and, to boot, I was due at the local mall to pose for some custom photo cards for Christmas. I wasn't in the mood to smile even if I got a great deal on dental X-rays and cleaning.

The schmo must have picked up on my vibe. His next pitch came out.

"OK, how's this? You take some personalized holiday stickers, put them on a custom art mounted print and then you get someone from Overstock headquarters on the phone ..."

Before he could finish, I held up my hand. "Kid, save it. Let me be Barney Frank with you - you don't have what it takes to be an inventor. It's Christmas, so if I were you, I'd be praying for a miracle."

That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Kyle Orton's CyberMonday Surprise

2011-11-28T07:51:00.001-08:00

As my new Target alarm clock rang out that George Michael Christmas song I hate so much, I slung one foot onto the floor when it hit me… CyberMonday! I threw the blankets off and bounced down the stairs like a Syracuse basketball. My wife beat me to the laptop. She was laughing as she read today’s story on the-real-dealio.blogspot.com site she loves so much. When she saw me, she laughed even harder. “Nice hair Kyle! And I’m glad you’re up. Get this! $100 for $200 worth of Blue Nile jewelry!”

“That’s great honey. Do you need any more jewelry? You’ve got as much as Kim Kardashian or the girls at Occupy LA as it is.”

“Of course. I always need more jewelry! And $30 to Spend on Gourmet-Dipped Berries and Sweets! Oh! And $35 for Two Private Dance Lessons and One Group Session, a $165 Value!” Then she chuckled again.

“What’s so funny?”

“Whoever this Scott is who writes these things, he’s cracking me up! The story today centers around a wife reading the story to her husband, just like I’m doing right now with you!”

I thought about what she’d said for a moment. “That’s a little freaky, isn’t it?”

“That’s what the story said you’d say!” She yelled in an excited tone.

“What else does it say I’ll say?” I was downright concerned now.

“It says here that you’d look downright concerned, and just want to check out the CyberMonday deals at Walmart, Macy’s and Best Buy, and you wish they’d just list the rest of the deals so I’ll stop reading and you can start shopping faster.

Up to 56% Off Diving Certification in Franklin

Sony Bloggie Touch MP4 Camera $94 (48% off)

Private Golf Lessons with PGA Professional Steve Kirkpatrick

$15 for $30 Worth of Brazilian Cuisine & Drinks

$50 to Spend on the "Holy Grail" of Men's Clothing

OrigAudio Doodle Portable & Customizable Speaker (50% Off)

PurpleTrail Custom Cards & Invitations (50% off)

$50 to Spend on Accessories for iPhone, iPad, and MacBook Plus Free Shipping $25.00 ($50.00 Value)

$10 for $20 worth of high-quality, brand-name gifts on Overstock.com - plus free shipping!

And that's the Real Dealio!

By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)

Black Friday 2003: One to Forget

2011-11-25T05:55:00.000-08:00

Black Friday 2003 was a day Cletus Davis family would like to forget.

Cletus and his four kids were up at 1 a.m., potbellies still stuffed with Thanksgiving feasts and cranberry stains on their shirts. They headed to the town’s Super WalMart to buy the woman of the house, May Ann, a fresh-water pearl necklace and earrings set ($114 Value) or a necklace, earrings and bracelet, shipping included ($217 value). Cletus knew he had to redeem himself after the 2002 family fiasco that erupted when he gifted her with $20 to spend at OfficeMax.

Upon arrival, Cletus drove around the parking lot for an hour looking for a spot to park. His youngest hooglian, Johnny, decided that the time would go by faster if he got out of the truck and started jumping on all the parked cars like an angry monkey. After about 15 minutes of that, he jumped on the wrong cars, those belonging to J.R. Martinez and Kyle Orton. Let’s just say that Johnny was handcuffed to Cletus for the rest of the day and neither one of them enjoyed it.

Now Cletus is a strong man, but when he walked into WalMart, he really wished he had some noise-reducing ear buds with free shipping ($50 value). Drown out the noise. Focus on the pearls. Don’t kill anyone, he repeated to himself over and over. He was interrupted by a forceful New Yorker shoving an application for 26 weeks of The New York Times Sunday delivery and a free issue in his arms. He immediately gave the paper to his daughter Susie who sat in a corner with Megyn Kelly and went to sleep in five minutes.

Cletus had never seen people fight over new ePad Android tablet, keyboard & leather carrying case or Memorex MI2290 travel iPod dock in black or white, but these rednecks went wild over this stuff at 2 a.m. – whether or not they needed it! One of them even flung an entire one-year magazine subscription to Elle, Cosmo, Esquire, Country Living and more toward Rocky, Cletus’s 5-year-old son, and broke his nose and knocked his shoes into next week!

Unfortunately, the quest for the pearls was abandoned and a trip to the hospital was necessary. On the way there, Cletus (and Johnny, since they were still handcuffed to each other) stopped into Verizon Wireless to spend $50 on any device or accessory so he could buy Rocky $40 Sketchers online since his only pair of shoes was nowhere to be found. Johnny was not happy about this and started acting like a monkey again.

If things couldn’t get any worse, Rocky was bombarded with roses when they walked into the hospital, and he broke out in hives. Cletus read the note on the bouquet: Hope you have a happy afterlife, Anne McCaffrey. This $35 worth of delivered flowers and more is the least I can do. Sincerely, Urban Meyer, future Dancing with the Stars winner.

When they finally reached the ER waiting room, it was packed with people decked out in Danskin active wear. Cletus had already had an overwhelming early morning adventure, so nothing surprised him anymore. He just sat in the corner, handcuffed to his kid, and let the other kids run wild and act like monkeys because he just didn’t care anymore. He still needed to get May Ann a gift, and the pearls were now so far out of the question that they might as well never have been a possibility. He finally just broke down a purchased her $79 for two-day free shipping and returns with great stores with ShopRunner. Then she could get whatever she wanted and save an extra 20% on Crowdsavings with coupon code NICELIST.

“I just went through all of this for NOTHING!” Cletus screamed in the waiting room. Weird looks came by the thousands as he slumped back into this chair to wait on Rocky’s nose to get fixed.

May all your Black Fridays be happy, merry and bright, and nothing like Cletus Davis experienced.

And that’s The Real Dealio!

By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)

Thanksgiving Weekend With Family: Your Game Plan

2011-11-23T07:48:00.000-08:00

Some families put the “dis” and others put the “fun” in “dysfunctional.” Nothing magnifies this more than the holidays. First up: Thanksgiving.

Let’s just say that we can all relate to each other when it comes to spending extended time with our families. We love ‘em, but sometimes we just need to get away and mentally prepare to return sometimes. This is especially true when you have a dance-off scheduled with J.R. Martinez, your long-lost cousin who was just crowned the latest Dancing with the Stars winner. (I’m glad I’m not you.)

You need to have options. You need to have a game plan. You need to invest in a Garmin 1300 LM GPS with free lifetime maps from Beach Camera to know where you’re going if you must leave at a moment’s notice before you scream.

Come prepared with toys for the rambunctious kids. Kids love toys, and you love peace and quiet, so it’s a win-win. While they’re playing with some Melissa and Doug wooden toys, surprise the girls by telling them that Megyn Kelly’s taking them to a spa party for up to 10 girls. Immediately, the house will become much quieter once they pull out of the driveway like Kurt Busch!

Don’t worry about the boys. They’ll be occupied reading their one-year subscription to Boys' Life (65% off cover price) and then fighting over who will be Kyle Orton and Urban Meyer in their annual Turkey Bowl family football game. There’s a guarantee that some turkey in that game who doesn’t have health insurance will get hurt. It’s just a fact of life. So come prepared with $44 for new-patient office visit at GracePointe Healthcare or you’re going to be crammed with your family into one of those small ER and hospital waiting rooms eating vending machine food for Turkey Day. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

And be prepared for the worst possible scenario that has a 76.8% chance of happening: your mom burns the turkey. You can be the child standing right by her side to save the day. Just discretely point to the stainless steel, auto-open trash can with A/C adapter and throw that turkey away before anyone knows what happened. She’s going to be a basket case, so have that 12-piece pro makeup brush set and case in your back pocket so that she can cover up her tears and puffy face before the rest of the family sees. You know they’re all just looking for a humiliating way to put their 2-hour photography lessons to good use.

Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

And that’s The Real Dealio!

By Marianna (blog: peachyperspective)

Today’s Deals:

$19 for 12-Piece Professional Makeup Brush Set with Case ($39 Value)

65% Off Stainless Steel, Auto-Open Trash Can with A/C Adapter

2-Hour Photography Lesson

Spa Party for Six ($84) or Ten ($168) Girls

No Health Insurance? $44 for New Patient Office Visit @ GracePointe Healthcare

One-Year Subscription to Boys' Life (65% Off Cover Price)

Melissa and Doug wooden toys

$105 for a Garmin 1300 LM GPS with Free Lifetime Maps from Beach Camera (Up to $179.99 Value)

One ($32) or Two ($65) Hours of House Cleaning

The Making of Our 2011 Thanksgiving Photo Card

2011-11-22T07:10:00.001-08:00

I slipped into the pilgrim costume wishing I’d taken that deal for a month of personal training. It was a tad tight. The painted-on gold belt-buckle sparkled way on out there, pulling up the bottom of the costume. I looked like a pilgrim ready to wade through some high Plymouth Rock flood water. And bless his little heart! My little boy Ray could’ve used that month of kids’ gymnastic classes. I could see his belly button poking out beneath the faux leather Indian shirt he was wearing.

I reached down for the circular to check out the Walmart Black Friday ad, and a smile grew on my face as I rolled my arm over. But then, I was kind of rethinking the giant red and black dragon slithering down my arm from my shoulder to my wrist. Pilgrims didn’t have tats. But who passes up $70 for $150 worth of tattoos? Not this pilgrim!

My wife was looking pretty hot in the 65% off sweater dress she had on. It was pumpkin orange, so it fit our Thanksgiving theme. Why she didn’t have to be Pocahontas, I don’t know. The 55% off women’s boots deal was fitting. I could see Pocahontas rocking those bad boys!

The photographer set us up in the den. I was glad we’d jumped on that $95 for Professional Interior Room Painting ($250 Value) deal. And nothing screams, “Thanksgiving photo card!” like a lavender wall. We could’ve done it out by the tree line, but no. “Blah, blah, lighting. Blah, blah, rain.”

Where was Ruthnell? My 13 year old daughter spends more time on her hair than Somaya Reece or Ali Fedotowsky! I yelled up the stairs. “This ain’t Dancing with the Stars Ruthnell! And I’m not doing that $5 for $10 worth of frozen yogurt from Sweet CeCe’s if you don’t get down here!” I knew that would work. The door opened, and she made her way downstairs. I held back my laughter. “Dad, I look like Rich Rodriguez! Or that guy who plays for the Patriots who can’t stand!” I was proud of my composure. She was wearing a ridiculous outfit that looked like a cross between a little girl pilgrim suit and a late Soul Train 80’s love and hip hop kind of thing. Hard to explain.

Maybe $15 for $40 of custom holiday cards was well worth all of this. We were also planning to add this picture to one of the professional photobooks we got at 63% off. We were thinking of putting it after the one of us with Justin Verlander at Texas Ranger stadium. Now, granted he was way in the distance over my shoulder, but it was the AL MVP and Cy Young winner!

“Cheese!” He yelled. It scared me a little. I wasn't even looking at the camera! I was looking at my laptop. An email had come through with 50% off tools to teach kids about money. He could’ve yelled, “Dressing!” Or “Turkey!” Photographers.

And that's the Real Dealio

Deals:

Your Turkey Day Has COME!

2011-11-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

There I sat at the kitchen table on the Monday before Thanksgiving, very nervous on the inside but trying to seem cool on the outside by putting my one month of drama class training to work.

As a turkey who had gone through six pole-dancing fitness classes, I felt I was in very good shape and thus didn't deserve to be the feature attraction on the Thanksgiving dinner table. But my owner was looking at that Cooking with Paula Deen magazine just a little too much - it made me wonder what was going on behind that taut, age-reversal facelifted forehead.

"Uh, Phil?" I said, casually twirling his fashion-forward wristwatch around my wing and trying to appear calm. "That's ... that's a nice auto detailing job you have on your car out there. Jay Cutler himself would be jealous of such a fine vehicle. Maybe we can take a ride in it - next week."

Phil didn't look at me, continuing to thumb through the pages, making some snide remark of how either a cranberry sauce recipe or a green bean casserole would go well with his ... experiment this Thursday.

"You know," I went on, hoping to break the awkwardness, "Christmas is also right around the corner. I was thinking of what to get Elizabeth and Billy. I would love to be around to see their faces when they open up a box with a classic toy or a boutique sweater in it. Come to think of it, Billy's always been a fan of one-night DVD rentals. Maybe after a vegetarian Christmas dinner that night, we could watch one, or even go to that new Shipwrecked With Santa joint near Fifth and Adams."

Phil slyly looked up from the magazine, eyeing my rather portly figure. "Hmmm," he said rather uncomfortably. "A cellulite reduction session would go a long way with you. Maybe trim the ... fat."

My poker face was quickly going the way of the brick-sized cell phone. "What do you mean?" I asked, hoping to be around for that custom holiday Christmas card he wanted to send out to friends and family.

Before I could get another word out, he dropped the magazine and picked up a frying pan, ready to turn out my lights with a quick hit upside the head. But he didn't expect me to jump out of the chair and assume a fighting stance. He was shocked, unsure of what to do.

Time to show this guy some TURK-FU!!

That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals List:

BREAKING NEWS

2011-11-18T14:04:00.000-08:00

Nashville, Tennessee – The staff of The Real Dealio would like to issue an apology to all of its faithful readers regarding the drama that happened on this fateful Friday. It turns out that one of the writers really DID get abducted by an alien named Tim Tebow while reading a one-year subscription to Women’s Health (84% off cover price), thus the staff was unable to provide you with a comprehensive list of the Nashville-area daily deals and add some laughter into your life. The CEO of The Real Dealio (no, not Kurt Budke or Regis Philbin) was able to contact Natalie Wood who has direct contact with Robert Wagner who knows Urban Meyer who knows the alien. TRD CEO told the alien to keep the writer whom we will refer to as “Sarah Vowell from Oklahoma State.” It was reported that the alien will indeed keep the writer but only for a fee - 85% off 10 personal training sessions from Pinnacle Fitness Solutions. Why? “I need to lose a little holiday fat I will be adding,” the alien, Mr. Tebow, said.

TRD sincerely apologizes for any convenience this has caused its readers today. They beg that you not give up on them just yet. They’ll even buy you some women’s jewelry at 80% off to go along with your new KSwiss shoes at 45% off.

Have a sweet weekend as you spend it at Sweet CeCe’s eating your half-price treats (aka pumpkin pie froyo)! Stay tuned to TRD for further updates as this story develops.

Other great deals offered today or throughout the weekend:

Up to 65% Off Skeet-Shooting Lesson for One or Two

55% Off Home Cleaning with 2 Cleaners

$34 for Activity Books for Boys or Girls by Klutz

$69 for a Flip Video MinoHD 8GB Camcorder and Two Flip Video Soft Pouches from Beach Camera ($134.99 Value).

Kate's Much-Anticipated Date Night

2011-11-17T11:34:00.000-08:00

Life had been super-crazy busy at home for the past few months. Kate and her husband, Rambus, rarely saw each other anymore since they had purchased $25 for $50 worth of home technology from The Sharper Image. Their home was starting to look and sound like Best Buy, and she was tired of hearing all about Google Music and how Rambus had dreams to turn their house into a nightclub. She had even resorted to writing him $50 worth of old-school love notes on personalized stationary for all occasions to capture his affection once again.

But tonight…tonight would be different. It was date night.

To prepare for the momentous occasion, Kate dropped the kids off at Grandma’s house with truckloads of kids craft packs, building systems, wooden books and floor puzzles purchased at 45% off. She also gave Grandma $40 to spend on children's clothing in case Grandma needed a drink and wanted to let the kids get lost at the mall.

No date prep is ever complete without a trip to the salon for a massage, facial and mani/pedi, so Kate headed there immediately after getting rid of the little hooligans. Then she drove across town in her 2013 Ford Escape for a haircut and choice of glossing treatment, color or partial highlight ($100 value).

Kate noticed that people started giving her strange looks as she bought $30 for $65 worth of lingerie from Biatta Intimates. “Is that for your wife?” people started snickering behind her. What is going on? Is it my nails? Do they still look too manly? Kate wondered for the next 20 minutes. She decided that with the money she saved on house cleaning services, she could afford up to 52% off acrylic nails or mani-pedi to fix whatever was wrong.

Date night was quickly approaching, so she jetted back home across town. Feeling confident after her day-long makeover, Kate strutted into the house to surprise Rambus before their date.

She was greeted with a look of shock and terror on Rambus’s face.

“Honey, I love you, but you look like Bradley Cooper, the sexiest man alive in 2011! What did you do today?!” Rambus said.

Sigh.

Kate replied, “The spear of destiny strikes again. I can’t go out in public like this! How ‘bout we cash in our coupons tonight for the shooting range package for two instead of dinner? We can have a romantic conversation about the White House shooting and internet censorship over a few rounds of fire.”

Even though the much-anticipated date night didn’t turn out as Kate had planned, she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

And that's the Real Dealio!
By Marianna (peachy perspective)

Deals List:

903!

2011-11-16T08:39:00.000-08:00

I could feel it in my bones. Today was going to be the day that Coach K surpassed Bob Knight as the winningest coach in Division 1 basketball and boy was I prepared. I took the day off of work in preparation for the game tonight. Since I was feeling tense at the thought of what might happen if Duke didn’t beat Michigan State I headed off to get an hour long massage. The sweet sounds of Enya did it for me as the stress left and visions of Coach K being carried on his players shoulders with “903!, 903!” being chanted in my head.

Knowing I wanted to commemorate such an event with pastels and water colors I headed over to Plaza Artist Materials & Picture Framing to pick up some supplies. They had everything I could possibly want to enshrine the Duke Basketball legend on an 11x14 paper/linen blend sketchbook – plus I got a deal on it too! I got $20 worth of stuff for only $10. This was going to be an amazing day!

Once I got home I changed into my Blue Devil swag and grabbed a few USDA steaks out of the freezer that I got from CaliBeef.com. A cold breeze swept by me as I opened the sliding door to get to the grill. After lighting it and letting it get hot I put the steaks on my Duke Blue Devil grill topper with my Duke Blue Devil spatula. This is the perfect way to get the Blue Devil on any flame kissed piece of meat.

Sitting down to start my work of art I turned on the game. Boy was the first half a nail biter. I couldn’t believe it. The Dukies were only 1 point ahead at half-time. I was really starting to get anxious. If only I would have gotten the ultimate spa package today I would have felt even more relaxed. As I sketched and doodled, Coach K worked his voodoo magic and the Blue Devils came back to beat the Spartans. My masterpiece was complete and so was Coach K’s legacy as the winningest coach in Division 1 basketball.

And that’s the real dealio!

By TDubb (Twitter: @timAwalsh)

Deals:

Bernice and a Strange Morning Stroll in New York

2011-11-15T06:30:00.001-08:00

I woke up standing in the middle of the street in Zuccotti Park in New York City. The wind blew cold as the sun between the buildings, and leaves fluttered across my feet. This brought a few questions to mind. One, how was I sleeping standing up? Two, how did I get to Zucotti Park when I live in Greenwich Village? Three, why was I wearing a Green Bay Packers jersey? I’ve been told I look like Aaron Rodgers, but this is Clay Matthews’ number. Man, Clay is playing lights out! I did a force quit on my rabbit trail and restarted my thought process. How? What’s the last thing I remember?

I was on the couch surfing the web at my girlfriend Bernice’s place. She was reading the Hunger Games for the 800th time. I’d just spent $50 on pajamas. I’d ordered six educational DVDs for $25.00. I ordered a queen eco-friendly memory foam mattress with shipping for $499. With the wedding coming up and an environmentally-responsible fiancée, that was a great purchase. Wait, we had argued. She wanted me to finish my four music lessons. I told her I hated the pan flute and the teacher hit me like Clay slamming Matt Schaub. She didn’t hit me physically. It was emotional. I don’t like the stupid flute so why should I care if I’m one note off! Freaking flute Nazi! I told Bernice this was the last straw. It was me or the pan flute.

She disappeared into the kitchen to fix our apple cider as I clicked “Buy it Now” on the pet boarding and training services for her cat Sniffles during our honeymoon week on Fire Island. She did have a sneaky smile on her face when she walked back in. She asked about the half off at the Nashville Zoo thing, and I reminded her we don’t live anywhere near Nashville. “Stop going to The Real Dealio Bernice! We live in New York!” She set her mug down and retorted, “I love that place… especially Nolensville Road!” I took a sip of the cider, which tasted like the apples had fermented, or been rotten. That’s the last thing I remember.

I made my way down 7^th Avenue with something in my hand. What was I holding? It was a wad of 50% off coupons for Jefferson’s, Tasti-D-Lite , Thanksgiving Cooking Class and Monogrammed Necklaces… again in Nashville. “Bernice!!!” I screamed into the thin morning air. I knew I should’ve stuck with Francine. She was a Vikings fan, but she wasn’t insane.

And that's the Real Dealio!

By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)

Deals List:

What happens in Vegas ...

2011-11-14T06:19:00.000-08:00

"21! Player wins!"

The rush of winning the help of a professional moving service for the weekend was just enough to keep me going at this alternative Las Vegas casino. I knew I could be home in bed, flipping between the latest news on Kris Humphries and Albert Pujols, but I couldn't quit now. I knew that if I was going to win tickets to the Nashville Symphony, I needed to bring it home here.

Suddenly ... she sat down. "Mind if I join in?"

Her hair was like fine-spun gold and the eyes were a deep blue. She looked like the perfect model to pitch for a beer commercial. Someone who could put Kardashian to shame. I was more entranced than that time I bought the 3 weight-loss hypnosis classes.

"Uh ... sure," I managed to get out. "Make yourself comfortable."

She flipped a black chip toward the betting circle and a white smile toward me. If she were at the Breaking Dawn premiere, she'd grab all the attention from the stars of the movie. I needed to show her I was the man.

I put three black chips in and the cards came out. Ten. Three. A hard 13 - I felt the heat rising on me, so I took a swig of my Tasti D-Lite and tried to appear cooler than the weather during an outdoor Christmas tree sale.

Do I hit? Do I stand? My eyes shot back and forth between the dealer and the dame. My situation looked as fragile as the freshly made products from a blown glass ornament workshop. I decided to hit.

"Mmmmm," I heard her mumble, impressed at my gusto. "Being aggressive with your $300 - you could buy a professionally customized website for that."

"Huh - please!" I shot back. "I've got bigger and badder things in mind, baby. You could be a part of it. Stick with me and I'll have your picture up on 40, 75 or 120 personalized holiday photo cards before you can say Gloria Cain."

The dealer flipped me a jack. 23. Despite all the honey's curves, her stare at me was flat. I had to recover.

"Uh, how about a horseback riding package for two tomorrow morning?" I asked.

"Sorry, sweetie - why would I want one horse when there are a few hundred of them waiting for me under the hood at the automobile museum?"

And with that, she left. Maybe Lady Luck would visit me again some day.

That's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals List:

Abducted by Aliens

2011-11-12T05:53:00.001-08:00

Our writers got abducted by aliens... but don't worry, they'll be back on Monday.

Here's your deals:

Suddenly, on that fateful night … THE END

2011-11-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

I suddenly awoke and sat straight up in bed. It was 3:17 a.m., and I hadn’t seen this time of day since I last saved up to 54% off plantation tour and wine tasting the last time I visited Nashville.

I knew who I had to become to lead the Occupy Wall Street movement – Billy Crystal, the man with the best handshake in the country!

“The OWSers want to believe in someone with a firm handshake! The handshake has been in my hand the entire time!” I yelled like I was still watching the Raiders and Chargers game.

I frantically stumbled over to the cherry wood desk in my hotel room and scribbled down all the things that would need to happen before I became this funny man. Of course I would need to get an AcuFacial or AcuFacelift and one month of unlimited CrossFit classes. But I didn’t have one month to prepare! My flight back to NYC was booked for11:45 a.m. that day, with a quick pit stop at Penn State to talk with Philip Rivers and Vincent Jackson (another undercover assignment – don’t ask)! Maybe I could just include the rest of the month’s membership with $15 toward a care package or other efforts for US troops and American flag for purchasers. Yeah, that’s what Billy Crystal would do for Veterans Day, so that’s what I’ll do! I thought.

This sudden adrenaline rush was making me hungry for some sushi. And I definitely needed a drink. Holy cow, I needed a drink. Thankfully I still had some leftovers from last night’s meal at Shogun Japanese Grill in Cool Springs in the mini-fridge. I wonder if Billy Crystal likes sushi and drinks, I thought. I bet Helen Mirren does. I wonder if they’ve ever met. I’m sure they’d have a hilarious conversation…

Snap out of it! Ok, back to business. Focus! Once I arrived in NYC, I would need 50% off superior mobile detailing - wash, wax and upholstery shampoo – to make my ride look like it had just plowed through the bags of poo the OWSers had collected over the past few weeks. That’s right – a reverse mobile detailing job. The OWSers wouldn’t believe in me if I arrived in a squeaky clean Cadillac and passed out coupons for 68% off one-hour photo shoot and three prints with Rick Perry!

I had to become one of them.

I had to become Billy Crystal. I had to shake their hands.

Now that is something we can all believe in!

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Marianna (peachy perspective)

Deals List:

Suddenly, on that fateful night … (cont’d)

2011-11-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

Since it was randomly laying on the street in New York City, I decided the room key for the Lowe’s Vanderbilt Hotel in Nashville had to be intentional - so I boarded a plane, left New York, and landed in Music City just in time for a quick Massage and Mani-Pedi Duo at the gate terminal. It’s CMA week in this town, so a guy’s got to feel and look his best in a Custom T-Shirt in case Carrie Underwood walks by.

I hailed a cab outside the airport and off we were to my destination with the mysterious room key. How would all this play into my mission of leading the Occupy Wall Street movement?

When I arrived at the hotel, the lady behind the counter looked strangely at the key. “Here, take this coupon for custom holiday cards and knock on Room 1225.”

Knock! Knock!

“Who’s there?” a voice from inside the room asked.

“The future leader of the Occupy Wall Street movement”

“Do you have a coupon for $100 towards Outdoor Kitchens, Food & Drinks at Kalamatas or $40 towards a Sam’s Club membership?”

“No, it’s a coupon for Custom Christmas Cards”

The door opened, I walked in and took a seat. A voice came from a dark corner.

“The people of the Occupy Wall Street movement are simple to lead. They’re only looking for something to believe in.”

“You mean, it doesn’t matter if it’s the 99% thing or not, just as long as they have something to believe in?”

“Yes. They don’t care what it is. They only want to believe in something.”

“But what is that thing? What do I encourage them to believe in so I can lead them?”

“You’re holding it in the palm of your hands”

That’s when I knew - a 20-Page Hardcover Book or Deli Appetizers at 3 Brothers Deli – none of it was good enough for OWSers to believe in. I knew who I had to become so I could get a chance at becoming their leader. Like the shadowy figure said, the answer was right in my hand…

Suddenly, on that fateful night … (cont’d)

2011-11-09T09:19:00.000-08:00

As Sharon Bialek and Gloria Alred waved frantically, I knewI had been made. You see, we met years ago at Timberloft Restaurant.My assignment that day was to track the sea bass burglar. Sure, he wasn’t as well-knownas your everyday cat burglar or diamond thief, but he had struck terror intothe hearts of restaurateurs and fish lovers across the country. At the time, Iheard he had tried to go legit, and even had his portrait made in an hour-long photo session, so he could be an actor. But the lure of the sea was justtoo much to resist. Life was dull without stolen seafood.

Now as you probably know if you’ve seen any TV this week,Sharon is a looker. So I was glad I was relaxed from my One-hour massage.Maybe I would have the nerve to ask her to go back with me to my hometown ofNashville, where we could glance longingly at each other at Olivia Olive Oil Private Tasting Event. We could then sashay on down to the Tour for Two at Ryman Auditorium. Thinkof it. She would be my Tammy Wynette and stand by her man. Finally, we wouldend the evening with a Holiday Tour for Two to Belmont Mansion.

One thing I learned as a private detective, though, is that dreams are made to be broken. True love wouldhave to wait until I broke this case. Keep on dancing Sharon and Gloria. Justkeep on dancing.

Back to my assignment. As I made my way down Wall Street, I couldn’t help thinking of the job athand. Would I be able to complete it? Would I become as famous as Sam Spade orbetter yet—TJ Hooker! Thanks to my night classes and all the business cards Igot on the cheap with custom printing from Vistaprint, I believed I hadas good of shot as the next Joe. But I digress.

As I hit the corner of South Street headedtoward the Brooklyn Bridge, I spotted my first clue. A room key from LoewsVanderbilt Hotel. Had fate intervened? Would I be heading home to catch the . .. To be continued tomorrow...

GUEST WEDNESDAY POST By Amy

Deals List:

Suddenly, on that fateful night ... (cont'd)

2011-11-08T07:35:00.000-08:00

I hung up the phone and pondered my assignment. Sure, I could disguise myself as a Wall Street Occupier. But as their leader?

I thumbed through a few of the latest issues of Newsweek magazines looking for ideas. I knew I'd need to smell like natural herbs and essential oils, and maybe organic deodorant. I'd have to be as dirty as if I'd been chimney sweeping. But how would I be able to assert myself as their leader?

I was late for my dental exam, X-rays and cleaning, but this was no time for a clean mouth. I quickly headed out in my squeeky clean ride thanks to auto detailing services, and called my contact. When he answered, I uttered our key phrase, baking and candy making supplies. He responded, "Joe Frazier walked across the Tappan Zee Bridge. Go ahead Agent Lohan." I cleared my throat. I don't know what to wear." There was silence on the other end, and the sound of muffled laughter. "Alright Lo, go get some high water jeans on like Joe Paterno wears. Shirt doesn't matter. Wear Tom's. They're expensive, but it's what they're wearing. Do you know how to infiltrate?" "I do, and actually I'm nearing the protest. I'll call you when I'm in."

I parked behind a VW van, and climbed out. In seconds, I was surrounded by people needing resume and cover letter help, and some sleep.These tents couldn't be as comfortable as the Loews Vanderbilt Hotel. Some looked like Goofballs holding up some sort of educational toys. Others looked like me. Still others reminded me of my insane college professor... old Mr. Sandusky who snorted grape juice during class. I walked through the crowd up toward the front.

Sharon Bialek and Gloria Allred, two of the Herman Cain accusers were dancing, though I couldn't hear any music. A man with a bullhorn stepped up on stage. I knew this was my chance.

To be continued tomorrow...

By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)

Deals List:

Suddenly, on that fateful night ...

2011-11-07T06:03:00.001-08:00

I had just finished up the Giants-Patriots game and was watching the Steelers vs. Ravens, stretching my aching muscles that were rendered so by a tough but worthwhile day of women's boot-camp classes.

Like anyone who felt like they just completed the equivalent of the New York City Marathon, I was debating cheating just a little bit with some cupcakes and baked goods, but with the cold rain sheeting down outside and me all snug and cozy in my pajamas, I wanted to just sit in front of the tube.

But we don't always get what we want. The phone rang. Brrrriinnnnngggggg!

I slowly picked it up, wondering who could be calling at this awful hour. But the voice was familiar. And the words were chilling.

"My waxing services would be perfect for your personalized guitar setup," came the gruff voice from the other end.

I was forced to return code. "That's great, because my invisalign exam went wrong, and it made my haircut, Awapuhi conditioning treatment and style look like I just got off a biplane ride."

The voice then got down to business. "Your assignment has been changed to tonight, Agent Lohan. Are you ready?"

The aching muscles were now itching for adventure. "I'm as on as a pair of lightweight, weight-loss hot pants from Zaggora."

"Good," said the voice. "Here's your assignment ..."

As he spoke, my mouth dropped more than it does when I watch Brian Williams give the nightly newscast. This was going to be dangerous!

To be continued tomorrow...

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Deals List:

Mathematics, the Universal Language

2011-11-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Starving + Delicious = Roma's Pizza and Pasta
Fuzzy Teeth ÷ Sugar Cavities = Dental Exam and Cleaning
Get a Raise x At My Job = Excel Training Course
Great Food + I Can't Afford = Capitol Grille
Hairy + Summertime = Bikini Wax
Teaching Children - Parental Involvement = Five Educational Children's DVDs
Being Active + Not Breaking A Sweat = Bowling, Laser Tag and Roller Skating

Clicking a link above + buying a coupon = A happy Real Dealio staff :)

And THAT'S the Real Dealio!

Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon, Eversave

Awesome stuff Powerball winners should buy

2011-11-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

So you won the Powerball, Mr./Ms. Connecticut! You’ve won the largest prize ever in state lottery history and you should be quite delighted with your luck. Though you should be monetarily set for the rest of your life, I’m sure you’ll still want to get the most for your hard-earned money and spend wisely like the commoners that now surround you.

I suggest that you pack your bags and head on down to Nashville for a weekend away from the media that won’t leave you alone once they find out who you are. And while you’re here, you can easily schedule the carpet cleaning for three rooms in your new southern house – perfect timing! Here are some things you should experience in our lovely city:

One Ticket to Country-Music Benefit at the Ryman – Everyone who lives in or visits Nashville must visit this iconic venue and, at the same time, experience the music that put us on the map. Not a huge fan of the twang? Just think - how memorable would it be if Jimmy Fallon made a surprise visit and performed his Justin Bieber baby mama drama song?! Don’t miss it.

2-Hour BYOB Painting Class – No, no, this is not a Big Your Own Bieber party. But since you just won the Powerball, you could probably buy Bieber if you wanted to. Instead, just bring your own bottle of wine and you’ll surely make some new southern friends who will love you for your wine and not your money.

Frozen Treats at Tasti D-Lite on West End – In the crazed world where froyo shops are popping up every hour, you should definitely get a tasty delight here. It’s where all the cool people go, and you my new rich friend, are definitely cool. Word of warning, though – if you see Jeremy Mayfield there, just run. Drop your tasty delight and run because it might have meth in it. Just sayin’.

With those amazing options, how could you not want to come experience Nashville? We’ll also give you two slap watches from Slap Gear just for hanging out with us, the middle-class commoners. How can you turn that down?!

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Marianna (peachy perspective)

Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon

A Birthday To Remember

2011-11-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

This morning, I rose from bed knowing that today was a day meant just for me. It was my birthday, so as a special treat, I'd scheduled a 50-minute facial and a chiropractic consultation and massage. I spent the whole morning in relaxation bliss, and I still had the whole afternoon ahead of me.

After my facial and massage, I met my husband at Mini Golf & Laser Maze in Murfreesboro for some fun. We'd invited a few friends to join us, and I knew that today was finally going to be the day I won the game. But it wasn't. Instead, I lost. I finished dead last.

To console myself from my loss at our game of mini golf, I headed home and hopped online. I found a couple of great deals, including a $26 combo for Target and Restaurant.com gift cards. Two gift cards for $26...happy birthday to me! As I continued browsing, I also came across a two-room carpet cleaning from Central Chem-Dry. After the mess the dog made last week, I decided to sign up for that straightaway. With a dog in the house, my carpet can always use a good cleaning.

Later in the afternoon, I carried my eco-friendly designer pouch out of the house with me, knowing I only had a few brief moments before my appointment at the salon. Now that Ben Gibbard was on the market, I had to look my best. Who's Zooey Deschanel again?

Finally, after I stepped out of the salon feeling like one of those Salon Selectives commercials from the '90s, I was ready for my birthday present: a cupcake-decorating class at Faboo Cakes in Hendersonville. Bring on the red velvet!

This was definitely a birthday to remember.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

GUEST WEDNESDAY POST By Jen (Blog: authoressinspired.blogspot.com)
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon, Eversave

2011-11-01T08:11:00.000-07:00

Vanity

I got to the Vanity Salon and Spa a little early for my eyebrow wax, and picked up the paper. The cover story was a familiar one. Reading how Bernie Madoff made off with all that money ticked me off all over again. Sure he got caught and locked up. I wasn’t so much mad at him, but all the stupid people who he tricked.

Sometimes I can’t handle the news. I flipped over to the entertainment page to relax and to my surprise; Kim Kardashian is already calling for a divorce! What!?! Next you’re going to tell me Anna Chapman is occupying Wall Street and Amy Schumer is romantically involved with Herman Cain! Enough entertainment, I turned over to the sports page and found a spread for the Christmas Village. Which reminded me, do we have any of those little candle wreaths? Oh man I love Christmas! And tomorrow, I’m taking my wife to a cheese making workshop, and we’ll hopefully open a booth selling festive goat brie.

As I focused on quietly ripping out a coupon for a pizza dinner at the Black Dog Market, Kelli, my waxer walked over. “Have you paid your barbecue fare?” I looked up a little confused. “I’m sorry Kelli. I’m pretty sure I misunderstood you.” She smiled and repeated herself. “I can’t wait ‘til you see Art’s new hair!” I laughed. “Yeah, I saw Art last night at our Unlimited Stroller Strides class. I don’t think I could rock a reverse purple mohawk like that!” Art is Kelli’s boyfriend. He’s the guy who determines school closings at Channel 4. He’s also a weatherman. But he’s usually wrong.

I laid the paper on the table and followed Kelli to my chair. She smiled and said, “You know, I hate to say this, but your eyebrows look fine. I don’t think you need this. Just because Bud from our BYOB painting class does it, doesn’t mean you have to.” I felt a thousand pounds lift off my shoulders. “Really? Well, that’s a relief! I just don’t want to look like Michael Dukakis.” She tilted her head and asked, “Who?” I forget how old I am sometimes.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!
By Scott (Twitter: @Scott_Chaney)
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon, Eversave

Secret Agent Saves The Day!

2011-10-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

In the dark of night, just outside the compound wall, Agent Kardashian readied the 15 Megapixel Video/Digital Camera that he got with free shipping. Such terror had been rained down upon this proud people for too long at the dictator's hands and AK was going to hand-deliver the retribution.

His training had been intense. Using the caving trip at Indian Grave Point Cave gave him a good feel for the outer workings of this desert fortress. His 2 tickets to Hollyday Marketplace had helped him blend in to the local culture. Even the photography class from Chimpsy was instrumental in knowing how to work the camera.

Finally, the wiring was done. A few snapshots over the wall and Kardashian had the evidence he needed.

"HALT!" declared a voice behind him, and AK felt the business end of a pump-action shotgun touch the back of his head. But a quick spinning roundkick, the flexibility for which had been made possible with 1 month of yoga classes, brought the unsuspecting guard down.

But another guard on a watch tower saw the whole thing and sounded an alarm. Within seconds, hords of swarming evil-doers were rapidly closing in. Going straight for his utility belt, Agent Kardashian grabbed and fired his line across a nearby ravine. The spike stuck in the other side and, just as he was about to be captured, he put the skills learned from his 90-minute zipline tour at Adventure Park at Five Oaks in Sevierville to work.

He had escaped with the evidence! The world was safe again ... for now.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Chris (Blog: Crazy List)

Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon

Mary's Murder Mystery Saga

2011-10-28T09:32:00.000-07:00

From the moment Mary received a home murder mystery party invitation, she knew exactly what to do. This year she was assigned the character Barbie Kew, a southern-belle with a redneck edge who lives and breathes BBQ.

She couldn’t just put this costume together half-heartedly. This year the stakes were high. The person with the best costume at the party would win a four-night hotel stay for two adults, or a family of four in Nuevo Vallarta, with airport transfer! No joke!

She immediately ran to find her phone and to book an afternoon appointment for a color, haircut and style at John Nelson Salon to let Amanda Patmore transform her into a bleach-blonde bombshell. As every woman knows, if the hair ain’t good, ain’t nuthin’ good! However, she accidently called the Franklin Oil Shop! This is a blessing in disguise, she thought. My car’s actually due for a full-synthetic oil change, and I’ve been meaning to call! Oil change appointment booked.

Let’s try this again, she thought as she dialed the phone again.

“Thank you for calling Boxwood Bistro! What can we cook up for you today?”

Boxwood Bistro?! I thought I was calling the salon! she thought but was too embarrassed to say out loud. “Um, yes, I’d like your special of the day. I’ll be by to pick it up in 30 minutes.” Come to think of it, I haven’t had lunch yet. Another blessing in disguise!

A couple of weeks ago, Mary had seen some great apparel and accessories at Blush Boutique that would complement her costume perfectly, so she called the store to see if the items were still in stock. The third time must be a charm because she actually called the right place, the blingy jewelry was still available, and. …

“Congrats, Mary! Since you’re our 10^th caller of the day, you’ve won a photo-to-metal print!” What?! “This will be a great way to commemorate the exciting murder mystery party I’m attending!” she said.

Well, now that Mary had to go get an oil change, pick up lunch, and buy her jewelry, she didn’t know if she would have time for a hair appointment. She decided to take her chances and stopped in that afternoon, hoping that Amanda Patmore was available. And hallelujah, she was!

If you go to a murder mystery party this Halloween weekend, be on the lookout for Barbie Kew. She’s been through a lot this week.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Marianna (peachy perspective)

Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon

Don’t Forget

2011-10-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

As she slowly drove into the abandoned Franklin Oil Stop for a synthetic oil change, she couldn’t help the goose bumps that appeared on her arms. She looked all around and didn’t see a soul anywhere, except the black cat creeping in the corner as the lights flickered overhead.

She stepped out of her car and wished she were back at the Adagio Massage Company for a Spa Day. “Hello? Is anyone…” BOOM! The lights suddenly cut out. Terror took over. She took off running in the dark but quickly tripped over numerous cans of all-natural home supplies, food and baby products from Abe’s Market.

As she struggled to stand back up, she could hear footsteps approaching. She turned around, and saw a shadowy figure with the whitest teeth ever coming right at her!

She grabbed a Hardcover Photobook and threw it, but he caught her anyway. She screamed at the top of her lungs but no one could hear until….

She woke up in her bed and said, “that’s what I left off my grocery list, a Deluxe At Home Whitening Kit.”

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Smitty
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon, EverSave

The Pasta Eating Champion

2011-10-26T06:26:00.000-07:00

After three years of training—including 812 to-go orders from Mirko Pasta—Tony finally felt prepared for the Pasta Eating World Championship.
As the big day approached, Tony wanted to look his best for all the cameras and cheering fans at the event. So thanks to the friendly laser hair removal professionals in his neighborhood, Tony’s unibrow was uni-gone. And after a brief session of sunless spray tanning that gave his bulging cheekbones a warm glow, he felt ready to eat more pasta than humanly possible.
On the day of the Pasta Eating Championships, the stands were packed. Seventeen people watched the eight competitors tear through bowls of fettuccine, linguine, and penne like rabid animals. After an hour of carb-overload, Tony finally claimed the victory. It was like a scene from a Disney storybook, with princesses and talking ducks replaced by large men and a vague scent of tomato sauce. Two people stormed the stage. Tony’s mother was so proud. So proud.
On the way home, Tony stopped by Quiznos for two regular subs, just a light turkey sandwich to sooth his aching stomach. The next morning, on the way to his daughter’s gymnastics class, he treated himself to a nice little colon hydrotherapy session. As you can imagine, it was much needed.
Will Tony defend his pasta crown next year? Only time will tell.
And THAT's the Real Dealio

By Robert (http://onehundredonebooks.wordpress.com/)

It's the DEAL-o-Matic 3000!

2011-10-25T05:40:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of paying too much for restaurants, magazine deals and beauty treatments?

(Crowd recording: YES!)

Are you ready to save huge money on random items that you might not have even thought of had they not been on sale in the first place?

(Crowd recording: YES!)

Then you're ready for the DEAL-o-Matic 3000!

The DEAL-o-Matic 3000 has it all! Never again will you have to worry about forking over too much for a magazine subscription or beads and supplies! It's great for shaving a big chunk off the price of a haircut and styling and the picture-perfect way to capture a great deal on photo books, cards and more from Mixbook! It's the place to go for makeup, hair care, skin care products and more! NOW how much would you pay?

But wait ... there's more!

If you order within the next 10 minutes you'll receive, at absolutely no extra charge to us, a taste of India. That's right - a taste of India! We'll even throw in a CarButlers Auto Detailing job. You simply can't lose! (Offer void in the Dominican Republic. Kids, get your parents' permission before dialing).

(Random person you don't know who probably was paid to appear on this commercial) - "I was so distraught when I realized I couldn't afford a zoo magazine subscription. But then I bought the DEAL-o-Matic 3000 and it had everything I needed to get signed up for Zoobooks, Zoobies and Zootles magazines. It's ZOO-tastic! Thanks, DEAL-o-Matic 3000!"

To get the DEAL-o-Matic 3000 delivered right to your door, call 1-800-3K-DEALS! That's 1-800-3K-DEALS! Once again, just dial 1-800-3K-DEALS! Order now!

And THAT's the Real Dealio

By Chris

Forgetful Joel

2011-10-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

I stopped typing and squeezed my right hand. It was really starting to ache. This never-ending project of doom was getting to me. I reached over and took another sip of my amazing coffee from Coffees of Hawaii. I closed my eyes and imagined myself with my toes dug in the sand and my big flower jams on, maybe like the blue ones I’d just found at ThriftSmart. I thought about how badly my wife wanted a trip like that, when it hit me. My wife! I quickly leaned forward to check the time on my laptop. NO! Oh for crying out loud! 7:12! I was supposed to meet her at 7:30 at that swanky restaurant that our friends had bought for us on Restaurant.com.

I shut the laptop down, grabbed my coat and bolted for the door. As I sprinted down the hallway to the parking lot, I felt grateful for those five Jazzercise classes, and even regretted complaining that my wife had forced me to go since I’d forgotten her birthday.

I made it to the man van without breaking a sweat, and as I fumbled to find the right key, I admired the auto detailing I’d just gotten quite a deal on. There’s nothing like a clean and shiny minivan with custom painted flames. As I pulled out of the parking lot, my new iPhone rang. It was Lil John, which meant it was my wife Joanna, and it was now 7:20.

I let it ring, frantically trying to think of something. At the third ring, I had it! “Hi honey! Are you at the restaurant?” There was a pause, and she answered slowly, “No. I’m not, Joel. I’m at Hacienda Cerritos… waiting for you.” I slammed on the brakes at a traffic light, the one that always turns red just as I get to it. I gritted my teeth and answered, “Our four night stay… at Hacienda Cerritos… away from the kids and work… and you ate with your sister tonight because she’s headed for that corn thing with her friends tomorrow in Nebraska.” Awkward pause. “You forgot Joel. You forgot again!” That lift in her voice told me I was in serious trouble.

As the light turned green, I turned to my last resort. “I stink Joanna. I stink! I forgot. I know we were supposed to meet in the room at 7:00. For some reason, I thought tonight was our dinner. That’s tomorrow night. I’m on the way.” There was another pause, until she broke the silence. “Do you even know where Hotel Cerritos is?” I smiled knowing with that question, she wasn’t as far gone as I feared. “I do. It’s right next to where we had our hydrotherapy session. I’ll be there in a few.”

And that's the Real Dealio

By Scott

Occupy Wall Street Alternatives

2011-10-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

Think of all those people who are participating in Occupy Wall Street. They’ve been doing a lot of standing outside, pooping in trash bags, wondering if they have enough money to get three laser hair removal treatments (because camping outside for weeks makes you hairy), and seeing who can get on the national news and change the world. I have nothing against them; I actually want to bring some fun into their lives.

I mean, Wall Street? Why Occupy Wall Street when you’re surrounded by people in cookie-cutter suits and frowns like the Grinch? There are a bajillion more exciting places to camp out for days on end, like 360 Wine Bar Bistro. Now that is sure to be a good time had by all. I guarantee you there won’t be a frown in the establishment.

If you’re not into wine, no worries. You can totally join Occupy Bombasha Brazilian Steakhouse. Every Occupy movement needs a Brazilian. And steak. It’s just common sense to choose a steakhouse to camp out in over a concrete jungle. But fair warning - word on the street is that some yahoos who spent too much time at the Occupy 360 Wine Bar may try to crash this party, pull the major sports team rugs right out from under your feet, and run away with that T-bone steak you were munching on. So hold on to your plates, carnivores!

To join the happiest and most peaceful movement on the block, my bet is with Occupy Ivey Cakes. Chocolate cupcakes, mounds of icing, colorful sprinkles…what’s not to love? You didn’t hear this from me, but Carrie Underwood may even show up. She’s such a big fan, in fact, that Ivey Cakes catered at her wedding reception! If you’ve been scouting the town for a celebrity sighting, definitely check out Occupy Ivey Cakes. But be sure to bring a stash of sushi from Ru San’s. Celebrities like Ru San’s, too, and don’t always think ahead and pack sushi when they’re on the go. It’s your chance to be the hero of the Occupy movement!

I beg you - don’t settle for Occupy Wall Street. Wine, steak, and cupcakes are much more fun.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Marianna (peachy perspective)

Nashville Daily Deals: Groupon, Crowd Savings, Living Social, Moolala

Man Up

2011-10-20T11:07:00.001-07:00

The cold rain gently kissed the courtroom windows while my fate was debated by two highly educated, well-dressed attorneys. It was like a scene from a movie that I saw at the AMC theatre. Things weren’t looking good for me as I replayed the scenes over and over again in my head.

The day started out well. It was a clear, late November Sunday morning and there air was crisp. Rays of sunshine warmed my rejuvenated face. My wife and I had both gotten an hour-long facial at Studio Green. I guess that was my first mistake as a man to get a facial but hey, this was going to be a special day – a day filled with celebration and pampering. I even bought her a little something for me from Biatta Intimates. We proceeded to a Sunday brunch for 2 at the Two Twenty-Two Grill inside the Country Music Hall of Fame. I had a frittata – it was fluffy – she an omelet. That was my second mistake. I could feel the judging glances from manly country music legends of the likes of Johnny Cash, Elvis, and Little Jimmy Dickens. (Now that I think about it a stack of flapjacks would have been a better choice).

I must have had one too many mimosas because the next thing I knew she was parking our freshly detailed car outside the Grande Ole Opry House. I reached in my pocket and pulled out our matinee tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. That’s when the lack of manliness started to get to me.

“Doh!” I exclaimed as I smacked myself in the forehead. “Nothing in this day is manly!” I started making a ruckus in the parking lot. “…might as well get a mani-pedi at Mona Lisa’s or take our Cockapoo, Sparkles, for an afternoon of dog grooming!”

Visions of Rockettes kicking, the feeling of my smooth, stubble-less face, and ache of a stomach full of frittata and mimosas was too much for me to handle. An innocent onlooker tried to calm me down but I couldn’t take it anymore. In one quick movement I lashed out and instantly regretted my actions.

***

The verdict was read – GUILTY! Tears streamed down my cheeks as I knew I would never be able to take my kids to another Fall Festival at Owen Farm in Chapmansboro nor would my family and I be able to have one last 1-hour photography session.

Just then everyone clapped, took a bow, and the stage lights came on. It had all been a show! The Cry Murder! trial re-enactment had been so real my imagination took hold of it! Amazing!

And THAT’S the Real Dealio!

By TDubb

Nashville Daily Deals: Groupon, Eversave, Crowd Savings, Living Social

Jumping to Conclusions

2011-10-19T11:18:00.000-07:00

The crime case had gone cold as I sat back in my chair with feet on my desk. I stared out my office window as the rain poured down, hoping something would break the case.

And that's when she walked in. I could tell on first glance she had used Keratin Hair Smoothing Treatment. That stuff straightens your hair for weeks at a time, and I had always known her as a curly-hair broad.

I pulled out the good stuff - my One Dozen Cupcakes from IveyCake - cause I had a feeling she was gonna talk. Heck she better talk after that Gallery-Wrapped Photo to Canvas I had given her last time for spilling the beans.

"Yesterday during one of my 4 Private Music Lessons, I noticed something surprising," she claimed.

"Nothing surprises me in this town anymore," I replied.

"This will surprise even you, Detective Spade. My teacher had 2 Admission tickets to Storybook Village on her coffee table."

"So you're telling me your music teacher is the real killer?"

"No. I'm telling you take some Unlimited Crossfit Classes...because my music teacher plans to ask you out soon."

#HoodMemories

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Smitty
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon

Celebrities make it better!

2011-10-18T06:19:00.000-07:00

Face it ... just about everything is better with a celebrity.

Taking dancing lessons is cool, but when you pair a dance instructor with a foreign model, an up-and-coming (or long-forgotten) musician and a former child star who hasn't landed a decent role since the Reagan administration, it goes to a whole new level. Millions of people want to watch.

With a famous person, the sky is the limit. Heck, you could have a TV series called "Undercover Waiter" starring Joey Lawrence at McDougal's Chicken Fingers and Wings and people would think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.

That's just the beginning. What if the former members of ABBA wanted to open a business and give hour-long Swedish massages? Will they make it a success? Find out on the next episode of "ABBA Rubba."

For that matter, don't leave out pets. Americans spent more than $48 billion on our furry friends last year, so if you don't put something on Animal Planet featuring at least one former Lassie and that monkey from the first season of Friends handing out free cellulite treatments to deserving animals who are active in their communities, you're missing out on a good chunk of the market.

Of course, few things light up the night like the music and atmosphere of a neon bowling league. So join former backup dancer Kevin Federline aboard the "Bowl Train" - in color!

And if you're in the mood for magnetic desk toys, there is probably a celebrity for them too.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Chris
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings, Groupon

A day in the park

2011-10-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

I smiled nervously, as my dog sniffed hers. Had I known I would run into Sandra Bullock on my little walk in the park, I would’ve had my eye exam a little earlier and gotten those fancy designer frames. Or at least some that didn’t have tape holding a corner together. “What’s his name?” She asked as I pulled a little tighter on his leash to encourage him to stop sniffing. “Oscar.” She nodded, and then got it. “Oh, a wiener dog named Oscar, I love it! Like Oscar Meyer?” “Yeah. Thanks. My name is Lyle Meyer, so it just kind of made sense.” Sandra stuck out her hand and introduced herself. “Lyle, I’m Cindy.” I let go of her hand and tried to hide my confused expression. “Cindy?” “Uh huh.” She answered. “People say I look just like Sandra Bullock. It happens all the time.” A thousand thoughts shot through my mind at once. If this wasn’t Sandra, then maybe I have a shot! “You have a beautiful dog Cindy. What’s her name?” She smiled and said, “Zumba. I know. It’s a little strange! But I took the classes to tone up, and thought that might make a cool name.” “It worked!” I blurted before realizing she might take that wrong. “I mean, not the toning part, but it worked as in it is a cool name. I mean, the toning did work, but… ummm, what kind of dog is she?” Her face had already turned a few shades pinker, and she answered, “Cockapoo. She’s a little more cocker than poodle. She’s a good dog.” I nodded in agreement. “She sure has an elaborate haircut.” I said trying to make it sound like a compliment and not like she looked like a bushy sheep in some areas and a little rat-like in others.” She reached down to pet a large tuft of hair on the top of her head. My sister Pam has a dog grooming place. Sometimes Pam gets a little carried away.” Zumba was beginning to pull her away towards a squirrel in the corner of the park, and I knew I had to act quick. “Listen Cindy, I have a few chef-prepared meals in the fridge at home. My friend Yamir runs the New Delhi Deli. He hooks me up from time to time. Would you like to have dinner tonight?” She smiled and for a second, it looked positive… until she uttered the words that ruined my day. “No thanks. Ryan wouldn’t like that.” And with that she walked away fighting to keep Zumba on the trail, and I realized, that was Sandra.

And THAT's the Real Dealio!

By Scott
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Crowd Savings

2011-10-14T04:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden a deer jumps out in front of me! I swerve out of the way (which is dumb... I should have just hit the thing) and came to a screatching halt in front of a Palace! Getting out of my car, I looked up at the grand palace and realized, this is no ordinary palace, this is the Nashville Palace... the place where stars drop in. I think to myself, how do stars just "drop" into this very place? Is this where all the shooting stars go? I bet the cowboy boots have something to do with it.

Well my tires were flat so I walk inside to find someone that can help me. I was greeted by 10 personal trainers that said they wanted to "pump you up" in an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. I said no thanks, but you can go pump up my tires if you like. "I want to pump you up, I want to pump you up, I want to...." OK!! Nevermind.

I shove my way past the 10 beef cakes and walk up to an old man who looked like he was straight out of the hills. I mean, seriously dirty, clothes tattered, stank like my kids diapers. He said hi, my name is Franklin... and smiled a HUGE smile. Expecting him to not have any teeth, I had to do a double take when I saw the Dental Packages in Franklin were some of the most beautiful pearly whites I'd ever seen. Blown away, I could hardly speak. Finally I muddled, "My you have perty teeth..." But I was cutoff by a Swedish Masseuse playing the song "Deep Tissue" on the banjo.
What a weird place... All I wanted was some Medilift Treatments on my tires!

And THAT's, the Real Dealio!

By Branden
Nashville Daily Deals - Living Social, Moolala, Groupon, Crowd Savings

The Real Dealio

The Eight Days of Christmas

The Adventures of Santa Steve

The Roethlisberger Revelation

Christmas Slam

Vacay Time With The Aliens

If Your Office Christmas Party is Like This, Leave

The Night the Car Broke Down in Kentucky

Trial of the century!

The Christmas Dream

The ultimate college bowl experience

Dear Diary

New Ways to Decorate Your Christmas Tree

Deck the Halls - Revised

How An Inventor Does Christmas

Kyle Orton's CyberMonday Surprise

Black Friday 2003: One to Forget

Thanksgiving Weekend With Family: Your Game Plan

$19 for 12-Piece Professional Makeup Brush Set with Case ($39 Value)

The Making of Our 2011 Thanksgiving Photo Card

Your Turkey Day Has COME!

BREAKING NEWS

Kate's Much-Anticipated Date Night

903!

Bernice and a Strange Morning Stroll in New York

What happens in Vegas ...

Abducted by Aliens

Suddenly, on that fateful night … THE END

Suddenly, on that fateful night … (cont’d)

Suddenly, on that fateful night … (cont’d)

Suddenly, on that fateful night ... (cont'd)

Suddenly, on that fateful night ...

Mathematics, the Universal Language

Awesome stuff Powerball winners should buy

A Birthday To Remember

Secret Agent Saves The Day!

Mary's Murder Mystery Saga

Don’t Forget

The Pasta Eating Champion

After three years of training—including 812 to-go orders from Mirko Pasta—Tony finally felt prepared for the Pasta Eating World Championship.

On the way home, Tony stopped by Quiznos for two regular subs, just a light turkey sandwich to sooth his aching stomach. The next morning, on the way to his daughter’s gymnastics class, he treated himself to a nice little colon hydrotherapy session. As you can imagine, it was much needed.

Will Tony defend his pasta crown next year? Only time will tell.

It's the DEAL-o-Matic 3000!

Forgetful Joel

Occupy Wall Street Alternatives

Man Up

Jumping to Conclusions

Celebrities make it better!

A day in the park